Media Bitch

picture story on "the orphans of the Burma cyclone" with an ad for themusical Gone With the Wind. It is not known who at The Telegraph was
responsible for the slip-up - but, as it is almost summer, Bitch will
give the benefit of the doubt and allow that John Judge, head of
trading, could have been away on holiday at the time.

Meanwhile, in magazine-land, the UK's leading publishers, including BBC
Magazines' Peter Phippen, IPC's Sylvia Auton and Bauer's Paul Keenan,
gathered for the PPA conference and awards ceremony. By day, the most
outspoken delegate was Future's Stevie Spring; by night, ShortList
columnist Danny Wallace (pictured left) stole the show. Although Wallace
didn't win Columnist of the Year, he was surrounded by a bevy of young
girls anxious to have their picture taken with him. He's still learning
some of life's hardest lessons ...

And finally: calling all the "sexiest, most eligible men in media", who
have until Friday 16 May to enter Company magazine's hunt to find its
Agency Batchelor of the Year. If this sounds like you, or one of your
colleagues, e-mail photos to oonagh.weldon@natmags.co.uk.

PIERS IS THE DARLING OF DOWNING STREET

Amid all the downbeat talk of newspapers being in inexorable decline,
that old rogue Piers Morgan has popped up proclaiming salvation for the
future of the ink-and-paper medium.

Children's newspaper First News, which counts Morgan as an investor and
editorial director, celebrated its second birthday at a reception at 11
Downing Street last week. Morgan claims the paper, which takes carefully
selected advertising from companies such as Google, sells 50,000 copies
and reaches 763,000 readers a week.

Media luminaries such as GroupM's Steve Goodman, MediaCom's Claudine
Collins and LBC's shrinking-violet breakfast presenter Nick Ferrari
joined the celebrations, along with Henry Winkler, aka "The Fonz", who
is undertaking a tour with the newspaper to promote reading.

Morgan was on typically bullish form and dominated proceedings to such
an extent that Chancellor Alistair Darling started his speech by
thanking the former Daily Mirror editor for welcoming him to his own
home.

STUDENTS ON COURSE FOR STUDIES IN MTV

It's a hard life being a student these days. One would expect students
to spend most of their free time down the pub or watching TV, but now
they can take their leisure pursuits into their studies as well.

A new course is being developed by Bolton University and Manchester's
School of Sound Recording and will start in September. For the grandly
titled BSc in Music Video Production, students will complete their
coursework by watching MTV.

The three-year course could take just one year, one would imagine, but
we wouldn't want to put too much pressure on the poor kids.

MEDIA WEEK ED READY TO BASH YOUR BISHOPS

Media Week has teamed up with the IPA and advertising charity NABS to
lay down a unique chess challenge to the media community.

Budding masters in media-land are invited to challenge Media Week editor
Steve Barrett over the board simultaneously, with 75% of proceeds going
to NABS and 25% to youth mental health charity YoungMinds.

Barrett will take on up to 20 players, with each entrant required to pay
a contribution to charity to secure their seat at the table. The chess
challenge will take place on Thursday, 16 October, at the IPA's
headquarters in central London.

Three media bosses have already signed up: Roy Jeans, chief executive of
IPM, Nigel Jones, president of Draftcb, and Steve Williams, chief
executive of OMD UK. Other budding Bobby Fischers should contact Claire
Bastin at NABS on 020 7462 3150, or e-mail c.bastin@nabs.org.uk.

- Got any gossip? harriet.dennys@haymarket.com

TIME BANDIT - John McGeough, Commercial trading director, GCap

34.9% - Deal negotiating. I am lucky enough to spend much of my working
life with a bunch of people collectively known as agency traders. They
are a thoughtful, reflective and giving group. Most of my time is spent
trying to draw them out of their shells and encourage them to have the
confidence of their convictions.

30% - Reporting back. Endless client queries all need a fully argued
response backed by supporting data. Immediately. Since I moved from an
agency, my "clients" have changed, but the lust for information hasn't:
the board, third-party sales clients and HORs (look it up) all want to
know what we're doing and why. There are two answers that cover all
scenarios in sales: success is due to us, failure is due to market
conditions.

20% - Number-crunching. Target-setting, forecasting and re-forecasting.
By station, by revenue stream and by department. This year and next
year. I spend an extraordinary amount of time trying to guess what will
happen in the future. I am always wrong.

15% - Changing everything. Dags national sales director Simon Daglish
and I start getting restless if we don't have at least a new board
director or chief executive to report to each year. To really freshen
things up, we like to completely change our ownership, company name and
station portfolio every other year.

0.1% - Closing deals. Christmas Eve at 12.55pm.