Desert Island Brands - Nick Band

2. Last taste of civilisation
The island has a plentiful supply of nuts and fruit, not to mention a healthy population of fish, so you will have plenty to eat. But which one food brand are you really going to miss from your old life?
It has to be Branston pickle. Nothing can't be masked by its strong aroma. And I could even use it a preservative. Raw fish, insects and seaweed will become a tad more palatable with a good dollop of the nation's favourite pickle. Bring it out!

3. Best reminder of home
Successful survivalists always claim that it is mental attitude which sees them through. Belief that you will get back home is going to be vital -- so which brand will sum up home best?
Home is where my Waitrose is. I could live happily in a Waitrose, wanting for nothing ever again. On my island I would wile away the days by recalling the exact position of every product. I would virtually stack the shelves in my dreams and dream for the big day when I reached check-out.

4. Most welcome online brand
Eventually you manage to rig up your own connection to the internet using bits and pieces found on the beach but you have only one chance to log on to a website before it goes down -- which online brand will you choose?
EBay. There is no limited to man's ingenuity and desperation -- and it's all there on eBay for the world to see. I could sell everything I possessed in the world, from my collection of business cards through to my biscuit tin full of nuts, bolts and screws dating from 1970-2006. Just think of the time I could kill preparing my life's inventory.

5. Ultimate luxury
Self indulgence is hard to come by on a desert island, so what brand would you be most excited to find washed up on the beach?
Provided it was suitably protected, a box of Cohiba Robusto cigars. Nothing defines luxury better than a product which annoys others. The splendid isolation of smoking a six-inch cigar for a good 90 minutes in a public place is divine. Only trouble is, I will be alone on my island. But I will be able to send smoke signals.

6. Transferable skills
You already work in the jungle of marketing so there are probably skills which you have acquired through your job which will come in handy -- or you may have other hidden talents. Which of your personal skills will help you to get to grips with life on a desert island?
I am told by the people whose wages I pay, that I am exceptionally talented when it comes to digging myself or my clients out of a hole. Well, here's a challenge. I think I would start by preparing my rescue speech which would be swift to point out I did not need rescuing but was happy to play along. Within days, I will boast, I would have been floating out to sea in my condom raft in anticipation of catching the gulf stream right back to blighty.

Designer and desert island survival expert Adrian Whitefoord comments:
Nick has plucked some unique choices as well as suggesting some hardy perennials.

Transporting water across the island in condoms conjures up an interesting image. The only trouble is, that in order to get to the best watering hole, Nick and his engorged Durex will have to penetrate a cactus field -- if he is to avoid an embarrassing puncture, he is going to have to take great care.

Branston pickle, now you are talking! A great way to cancel out the flavour of some of the witchdoctor's more adventurous culinary efforts. It goes a treat with his giant millipede goujons.

Waitrose does seem to be a favourite with our island visitors as does eBay.
I get the former but not the latter. Still if you can sell a brussel sprout for sixty odd quid, as someone did at Christmas, I guess it has some merit.

Far from being alone on the island Nick is likely to endure frequent visits from the elders of the local tribe. He should ensure that he always has a couple of his cigars clipped and ready for the chief and himself, otherwise he will be forced to endure the dubious pleasures of chiefy's peace pipe stuffed with monkey droppings.

Nick Band is chairman and CEO of Band & Brown, one of Europe's leading PR consultancies and part of the Cossette Communication Group, Canada's largest marketing services group.

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