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Metro to fight the tabloid trend with broadsheet launch

LONDON - Commuter title Metro is making the landmark move of launching a broadsheet version after research found that some readers prefer the bigger displays and larger format.

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These, and other gems, are among the laughs that the national press are having with their April Fool's Day stories.

The Metro story claims that the broadsheet launch "will differentiate us further from papers such as The Times and Independent, and offer a new choice for Britain's young, urban professionals".

Talking of The Independent, that paper was claiming this morning that, horror of horrors, avant-garde musician Brian Eno is writing a "new wave" theme tune for 'The Archers'. It claims to be "cutting edge" and "modernist". 'The Archers' might have had a gay kiss recently but new wave and modernist, come on.

The Sun championed the plight of the plucky motorist with its report that said that Thames Valley police are fitting hawks with cameras in an effort to catch speeding drivers. The report says that the birds will swoop on drivers who have been spotted by their police handlers.

A full page ad in The Telegraph claims that new technology from BMW means drivers can now cook their dinners from their car as they drive home from work.

The Guardian reckons that Peter Mandelson is emerging as front runner for the BBC chairman and, while Mandy is always trying to make another comeback, this could be a bridge too far.

The Daily Mail claims it has a photograph taken by a tourist of the Queen reading the Racing Post in a bookies in Windsor. It included photos of the Queen and her Corgis in a branch of William Hill. No not with a packet of Drum in her pocket as well.

Only The Times appears to have puzzled readers so far by publishing a story which appears to be a bit fishy but is actually true. It reveals plans from the National Archives about British plans to use chickens inside a nuclear-powered landmine at the height of the Cold War.

Tom O'Leary from the National Archives said: "The civil service does not do jokes. The reputation of the National Archives would be damaged if we made this up."

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