Business as usual

The image is a smug looking woman in a shiny green jacket and a bowler hat. The line says something about ‘easy money’. The bowler is a reference to ‘Mr Bradford & Mr Bingley’ (presumably, she’s their niece) and the timing is awful.

The last thing that’s easy at B&B at the moment is money and probably the last place that anyone is going to pitch up with their hard earned savings is their local Bradford & Bingley branch. Yet the posters hang apologetically all over town, counting down the days until some other invitation to 'eat food' or 'drink beer' gets slapped up in their place.

A quick look at bradford-bingley.co.uk confirms business as usual. There’s a welcoming invitation to ‘Become one of the UK’s top interest earners. With your eyes closed.’ Which suggests that B&B’s grip on English grammar is as tenuous as its very existence on the High Street of the future and it’s only when you click on an innocuous looking button on the right hand side of the page marked ‘B&B Rights Issue’ that there’s even the faintest sense of the turmoil that currently grips the company.

You can ‘Rest assured when you save with Bradford & Bingley’ it says on their home page but I’m not so sure.

In tough times like these is it our job as marketers to tell the truth or sell the stuff? Is there time to step back and pause for thought or do we just carry on regardless, throw open the doors and declare ‘business as usual’ until the man arrives with the padlock and chain? I guess, as ever, we’ll take what we can get and deal with the consequences at a later date. It’s just business, as usual.

Sign of the Times

About a month or so ago, my wife responded to a direct mail offer from The Times offering us a 12 week subscription at a ridiculously low price. We took them up on the offer. Hell, we even pushed the boat out and got the thing delivered. A few weeks into the trial, I’m overwhelmed with guilt.

Yes, it’s true, I’m guilty. Guilty of ignoring hundreds of thousands (millions, even) of beautifully crafted words. Guilty of turning a blind eye to all those wonderfully shot pictures. There are magazines still languishing in the plastic bag. Crosswords and sudoku puzzles remain unsolved and as for KenKen, well I dinnae even ken what that’s all about. And then there are the ads, hundreds of them at hideous expense that will never get a response from me.

As if this wanton neglect wasn’t enough, I’m worried about the trees. Sure, we can recycle (and we do, sneaking the virgin papers out to the blue box in the front garden under cover of darkness) but that newsprint mountain has to be hurting our precarious environment somewhere.

The truth is we couldn’t even get through the paper if we wanted to because there isn’t enough time in the day and, anyway, our media consumption habits are just so different these days.

We get all the news we need free – which really puts pressure on our half price trial offer. It’s easier, and more convenient to pick news up online in bite size chunks across the working day when more often than not, I’m stuck in front of a screen. I can sift through the RSS feeds. I can pick up snippets on blogs and tweets and follow links on the stuff that interests me. I can scan output from different news sources as well as specialist sites. And that’s before I turn on the myriad of channels available on TV or radio or flick through the Metros that litter my bus. There’s more content out there than I can shake a stick at and, much as I’d love to, I just don’t have the time to wade through a chunky big read like the Times.

The truth is, I like the thought of having my newspaper every day. I like waving cheerily to young Elliot, my local paperboy as I open the curtains on another sunny day but beyond that, I can’t quite seem to fit even a compact, tabloid Times into my life. Good news, perhaps, for the trees but probably not such good news for the quality end of the newspaper industry presuming, as the statistics suggest, that I am not alone.
 

BBbored already?

My kids insisted on watching the first episode of this year's Big Brother last night. Looks like the usual bunch of shallow numpties and vain wannabes. I can hardly wait ...

Too many tweets

Before you all shout, 'Hey Al, you're not blabbing on about Twitter again are you!', let me get in quickly that I'm not becoming obsessed, just mildly fascinated.

As I write, it's just after midnight here in Edinburgh and the truth is, even if I wanted to, I can't give a tweet. Yes, folks, Twitter's in meltdown citing serious over capacity. Sometimes you can get in, sometimes you can't.

Which must mean that tons of people from the saddos like me sitting up late in Edinburgh and those just waking up in Silicon Valley are finding the time in their busy days for a bit of micro-blogging.

Today I'm being followed by Jarret Coon from Missouri, a self-confessed "14 year old technologist and financial guru who is trying to make his way online". I'm number 87,506 on his list. Jarret, mate, try and make your way outside where there are trees to climb, footballs to kick and girls to explore. There's plenty of time to be a financial guru but you don't get away with being a kid for very long.

On the positive side, Vicky_Taylor and goodstuff79 are living, breathing (and occasionally twittering) evidence that nice people out there are reading and taking note.

Join my growing (6) band of followers: http://twitter.com/alanmunro

TWITter

Is it just me or am I daft to think that there's no way that Twitter can be good value at around $80 million?

Encouraged by Brand Republic's beloved leader, I've taken to the occasional Twittering. I have two followers - Gordon, who put me onto it in the first place and some dude in the States who found me by happy accident. 

They get to read my Twittering and I get to read their's. Over time, I may add a follower or two - hey, if you're interested just search for alanmunro in Edinburgh...

But, for the life of me, I can't see how Twitter is going to make any money. 'Show me the revenue model!' I hear my inner capitalist say in sarcastic tones.

If the rumours of third round funding of $15 million are true then someone somewhere is expecting to be able to turn a heap of cash through Twitter at some point. I just can't see how. Mind you, I'm also at a loss to understand how some VC has dived in with this highly risky venture when all the ones I've spoken to about my own grand plan (which goes for a good old fashion cash for services rendered revenue model) seem to hem and haw forever and never quite get round to writing a cheque.

Perhaps I should put out a request for funding on Twitter ...

Apparently, sex still sells

While, clearly, I haven't managed to get myself onto Brand Republic at all in the last few months (due mostly to overwork with just a hint of lack of inspiration) one thing I did manage to get around to was Internet World 08 at Earl's Court just a week or so ago. 

And anyone else who got along to this premier trade event for businesses trading at the cutting edge of internet technology and marketing may have been slightly surprised by the amount of flesh on show. 

Now I'm not prudish, far from it. In fact, I went round time and time again to see the 'nurses' in tight uniforms who had some very loose connection to web hosting and the girls in the grass skirts (something to do with a dating site) stickered me on more than one occasion.

I didn't know where to look with the content management ladies who offered 'the ride of your life' and I was captivated by the scantily clad lovely who wondered if I'd like to 'talk to one of those guys over there about email marketing'.

Hey, I even wandered over to the International Direct Marketing Fair and fairly frequently clocked the hugely exposed knockers on the show dolly who was handing out leaflets for a printing company. "Y'awright?" she would ask - to which the answer was 'um, yes, but why in the 21st Century are you still here?"

Bus shelter politics

My local bus shelter is currently sporting the latest campaign from the Scottish Government. Perhaps weary of telling the good citizens of Edinburgh that they need to regularly wash their hands, eat five portions of fruit and vegetables every day, stop smoking, drink less, walk to school, have a flu jab, embrace our multi-cultural society and sleep in a bed (OK, I made this last one up), the folks who run the country have trained their sights on murkier stuff.Above a picture of a police car with flashing blue lights there’s a stern warning for the old ladies, commuters and kids standing at the bus stop – THIS IS THE CAR YOU’LL END UP KERB CRAWLING IN.

And there’s a strapline too just in case you didn’t get the message – Kerb crawling. It’s criminal.

While I concede that the Government needs to find some way of communicating new legislation to the wider community, and potential offenders in particular, is my bus shelter the place to do it?

Two minutes of Googling reveals the scale of the problem in Scotland. The new law, which criminalises kerb crawling, came into force towards the end of last year. In the first 12 weeks of enforcement (when presumably the police threw extra resources at the problem in order to show they mean business) 40 men were charged in all of Scotland.

That’s just over three a week. Now, far be it from me to trivialise the social damage done by street prostitution. That’s not the issue here. The issue is the wanton waste of public money (money that perhaps could have addressed the problem more effectively) on advertising campaigns that are doomed to failure from the start. Mass media isn’t appropriate for niche interests and there’s no need to tell kerb crawlers that their leisure pursuits are both socially unacceptable and illegal - they already know.

Stupid advertising. It’s criminal.

Britain’s most wanted

While skimming through the sports stories in my online Scotsman on Friday morning (which, incidentally, I now generally read instead of actually buying a paper) I couldn’t help notice a flashing square box telling me that I was ‘more likely to BELIEVE an ad because it’s running in local media’.Ignoring the obvious anomaly that I was actually viewing this ad in a global medium, I clicked through to themostwantedads.co.uk, a rather tacky little mini site appended to newspapersoc.org.uk (the The Newspaper Society – ‘The Voice of Britain’s local media’).

Once I got there, I discovered loads of fascinating stuff that they’ve found out thanks to a ‘six figure research project’. I say fascinating with my professional interest hat on here. I can’t even begin to imagine why they’re trying to entice ordinary punters from the sports pages to follow the link, but I digress. A quick rummage around reveals some interesting stuff lurking amongst a graphical holocaust of a website which even includes little banner ads that take you back to the page you’re already on.

Local media, they say, allows me to reach ‘over 80% of the UK population across all life stages, lifestyles and income levels’. While I can’t imagine any situation when I’d actually want to do this, I have to temper my excitement with the news that in order to achieve this I need to advertise in over 1,300 local newspapers, more than 1,100 local newspaper websites, 750+ magazines, 36 radio stations and 2 TV stations.

Uh, OK, this is sounding promising…

They’ve got some stats, too. More than half of the 5000 people who responded to their survey said that they would prefer it if there were no ads on TV and 37% longed for ad-free radio (let’s not mention that to the guys at their 2 TV and 36 radio stations). Yet only 14% would like an ad-free local press. Having said that, 17% of their readership claims to be ‘actively avoiding’ the ads but that’s considered good news compared to the 47% who are actively avoiding the ads on television.

Then it all goes seriously downhill. One of the downloadable ads that they’ve put on the site plays havoc with the stats. Citing the belief of ‘industry pundits’ that ‘the days when you turned to advertising for information are long gone’ they suggest that this widely held view amongst such ‘silly, whining attention-seekers’ is only 80% right. The 20% of ad-spend in local media is thoroughly justified, they claim, because ‘ads in the regional press are up to twice as relevant and twice as useful’. Reassuring stuff, don’t you think?

Waiting for Godin

Two things happened in the last week or so that got me thinking. First, one of my former colleagues quietly opened his new agency, Hush Communications, and then I received my copy of Seth Godin’s latest book Meatball Sundae, which I'd pre-ordered at Amazon and I was eagerly awaiting.I like Seth. I like Seth a lot. Seth is a man who always seems to make sense for me. Seth is so sensible and so straightforward that his views often seem radical.

For example, he is a great believer that marketing (in its broadest sense) is what any business is all about. His view (which I share) is simple. ‘Marketing doesn’t support the organisation. The organisation supports marketing.’

That’s how it should be, right? The loudest voice in product development, customer services, human resources, corporate affairs, IT, management, the boardroom or any other department in your business should be that of someone who has a profound sense of how every decision affects the relationship between the business and its customers. If the marketers come in at the end of the decision making process in the vain hope that a sprinkle of fairy dust will turn product development’s frog into a handsome prince then we’ll all be cursed with a life of eternal frustration and failure.

Which brings me back to my chum and his new agency. They’ve just opened the door. Right now, they can be anything they want to be. So what’s appropriate for the new world of marketing? How can they best make an impact on the businesses they’ll advise and should they be spending as much time with the chief executive and the folks in IT as they do with the marketing department? I’d like to think so, but I reckon it’s unlikely.

Lazy blogger

No matter how many excuses I have tried to sell myself over the last few months about my lack of posts on Brand Republic, the truth is I'm just a lazy blogger.

Sure, I've been busy. Trying to raise money for a start up venture in the current market is hideously time consuming. Trying to keep the wolf from the door at the same time doesn't half put paid to a chunk of the day. And that's without even considering the social whirl ...

But being a good blogger - well that takes time and effort and something worthwhile to say. Which, I guess, makes good blogs worth reading and, ultimately, makes them influential in the great scheme of things too. 

So, I'll resolve to try a bit harder this year ... starting tomorrow, maybe.  

Birds of a feather

Somehow from the dire selection of last night’s TV schedule we ended up watching a programme called ‘How to look 10 years younger’.
For those who actually have lives and were doing better things, it’s one of these reality shows where a fashion expert irons out the wrinkles for some old fuddy duddy. Then by the magic of surgery, cosmetic dentistry, professional hairdressing and makeup and a clothes budget like they’ve never had in their lives, the prematurely aged wrinkly is transformed into a desireable godess that her husband of 30 years can barely recognise.

As if that wasn’t fascinating enough, I was struck by the ad breaks. One after the other, the well-targeted ads hammered home their messages to their perfectly identified viewer. Though I was doing the family ironing myself, it was clear that it wasn’t me that they were talking to – oh no, they knew exactly the profile of the women that they wanted as customers and every ad spoke loud and clear: buy this, try that, get these and you’ll look more beautiful, eat this and you’ll be healthier, this will take away your problems, get these for your children, that for your husband’s tea. Cars, makeup, food, chocolate, nappies, hair colour, pet food, even tasteless soluble fibre, the messages were relentless – each one demanding attention of the precise individual most likely to be watching this particular show.

How could anyone take it all in? How could you leave the ad break feeling anything other than completely bewildered? When everyone’s shouting at once, is anyone really listening?

After the sensory assualt of the ad break, the brainless fairytale tranformation of witch to princess must be a welcome relief to the women all over the land who are sitting on their couches sipping tasteless soluble fibre and hoping that their prince turns up long before the crows’ feet really set in. Hope there’s some footie on the telly tonight.

Who gives a monkey's?

A quick glance at YouTube confirms that the kids are going nuts for Cadbury's new TV spot. But what on earth does it have to do with chocolate?

The answer, of course, is nothing. It doesn't have to. It's just a case of creating an arresting image and hoping that the advertiser will pick up some recognition by association.

They've even managed to get away with a dodgy old Phil Collins track - which I initially thought would put it firmly in the uncool camp but, no, the YouTube links have started trickling into my inbox already. 

And my kids LOVE it. And they're willing to argue that it's a great ad.

But for me, a gorilla on the drums just doesn't fit with Cadbury's Dairy Milk. Maybe I'm wrong, of course, but I can't see the kids who so adore the ad rushing off to buy any more Dairy Milk than they already do. And that's the point of advertising, isn't it?

Some days I feel so old fashioned.  

Mad about the boy

Like many thousands of enthusiasts all over the world, I was in the queue at midnight on Friday for the latest edition of the Harry Potter series. I haven't queued that late at night since Bruce Springsteen came to Edinburgh in the 80s. So what's so magical about Harry?

The proverbial visitor from outer space would have been somewhat bemused to see the long lines of chattering youngsters stretching through the shopping mall where we set up camp on Friday night. 

And when the countdown to midnight began only to be greeted by a big hysterical cheer I had to suppress the innate temptation to crack open a bottle of Champagne, shake everyone's hand and wish them a Happy New Year. 

So what's the magical ingredient in the Harry Potter success story? For me, it has to be Word of Mouth. Everyone who loved it was so enthused that they told everyone else that they possibly could and their enthusiasm expanded Harry's universe at a spectacular rate.

And once everyone had heard about it, almost everyone wanted to be involved. 

Though nothing in publishing will ever be quite like Harry Potter again, the same principles can be replicated time and time again in marketing. All you need is a remarkable story and an enthusiastic bunch of highly motivated customers. Just find that and the magic will take care of itself.

It's a long hard blog

Where does the time go? I've been so busy over the past month that I've neglected my blogging duties. And that got me thinking. Maintaining a consistently active and interesting presence on the internet takes time, determination and dedication if you're in any kind of smart business then you really have to take these types of bloggers very seriously.

It's a point that's eloquently examined time and time again in Citizen Marketers by Ben McConnell and Jackie Huba. They investigate the whole notion of people as the message and how persistent bloggers can have a major impact (positive or negative) on the customers of all kinds of business. 

And the conclusion that we'll all have to face up to at some point in our marketing campaigns is that there's an amazing resource out there that you can use positively in your campaigns but only if you've got a really good story to tell, you treat your customers with absolute respect and you're willing to concede that much of your campaign will be beyond your control. 

That may be a step too far for those who are more comfortable in one-way media but it's a lot more likely to work.  

"These guys are great ..."

Every now and then you come across a company that just makes you think 'these guys are great' and I want to tell everyone about it. Why can't all companies be like that?

Earlier on today, I needed to take a look at holiday car hire. So I Googled, like you do, to get started and picked www.carjet.co.uk from the three sponsored links my search threw up. I thoroughly expected that I'd then spend the next few days trawling through me-too car hire companies trying to find a deal. But no, the Carjet folks were great. 

Though I had a couple of minor usability issues with their site initially, they carried me along with a refreshing copy style that was easy-reading, straightforward and honest. 

They had an excellent choice of cars and great prices. Unlike a lot of their rivals there don't appear to be any hidden extras either - just a great deal.

They also won me over by recognising where I'm at in the process. They acknowledge that I'll probably look elsewhere and they've emailed me the quote (and held it on their site) for future reference.

But to be honest, they've done such a good job, I don't think I'll bother looking elsewhere - and isn't that a good thing?

So, assuming they can actually deliver me a nice motor when I get off the plane, I'm going to tell everyone how good they are, starting with everyone who reads my blog and everyone who talks to me about holiday car hire.

The best thing of all though is that earning word of mouth recommendations (the best form of marketing there is) like this is easy. All you have to do is try your best to be brilliant at what you do. If you achieve it, your happy customers will soon become your sales force.