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Janet Belmot's Blog

How to become a cowboy agency 

Comments:4   Add your comment

Everyone can stop falling over themselves NOW because I've done the brain-leg-work on predicting what the next big trend in advertising is going to be. Here's how the thought process works:

Q: What is no-one touching with a barge pole at the moment?

A: Country and Western music and clothes. Be the first and claim the glory. If it turns into a bandwagon and you jump on it, you'll clothe yourself in the robes of SHAME and it will NOT be my fault.

Here's some practical advice you can implement TODAY to get the beef-jerky (bacon) moseying into town (returning on investment (ROI)):

  • ditch all current music on your adverts and replace it with Gareth Brooks and Tammy Wynette
  • change your straplines to be more Country and Western eg, "Your M&S" becomes "Your rootin' tootin' M&S".
  • If you run out of country phrases, just add a massive YEEEE-HAAAAR to the end of all remaining straplines. It works like "gang-busters".
  • if you're a managing director, lead from the front and wear cowboy boots in August. You'll look like a fool for the first three weeks, but kudos will arrive by September so the month-long humiliation will 100% be worth it.
  • replace all doors in your agency with swinging saloon doors, like they used to have in the hairdressers on Moores Road in the 80s.
  • the Fire Department won't like this AT ALL, so you'll have to keep an eye on the Planning Department. They can't be trusted to be responsible with fire safety.
  • you'll also have to stop the Creative Dept from goading the Planners when they find this out.
  • if you have to, get someone from Personnel or a receptionist to stand in between them to stop squabbling. It's not ideal but the ROI from the saloon doors will DEFINITELY be worth it. I can just picture them!

Ye-har!
Published Aug 02 2007, 10:28 AM by Janet Belmot
Filed under: , ,

Comments

by George Parker
August 2, 2007 4:07 PM
 
Mrs B... Even though I can't stand Country & Western music - Too much "Ma baby done left me, the dog done died & the truck won't start" for my taste... But you have come up with yet another winner here. Even though most Americans with brains (that's about half) think Bush is an idiot, when he goes to the "Ranch" in Texas and puts on his boots, they all want him to invade Iran. As you point out, any MD with brains (that's about half) should do a Reagan or a Bush and pretend to be cowboys even though they were born in Illinois and Connecticut. It never fails to bring home the jerky! Cheers/George
 
 
by Janet Belmot
August 6, 2007 2:31 PM
 
Yee-harr! Ha ha! It's like being in that film with Billy Crystal where the old cowboy dies and one of the holiday women nearly gets raped by two other cowboys!
 
 
by Gordon Macmillan
August 6, 2007 2:34 PM
 
City Slickers is a class film, sadly Billy fell out with his long time cohort (and When Harry Met Sally co-star) who did not appear in the Turkey of the second film.
 
 
by S J Rutledge
August 20, 2007 3:13 PM
 
Gordon is always very Anti-Turkey I think he must be a GREEK or perhaps a dissafected Cypriot like his namesake Harold MacMillianopoulos
 
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