Desert Island Brands - Bill Portlock

1. Survival essential
Making a shelter, finding food and attempting to escape are going to be high on your agenda -- so which brand will you find most useful in your attempt to tame the great outdoors?
I like things to look good and work too. So I would choose a Wrangler Jeep -- probably the Sahara version as that would go well with the desert island I think. It may seem a strange choice, but I have thought about this one and it does have a few real benefits, unlike the Ferrari that was chosen by a former castaway! First of all, if fitted with a winch it would give me the power needed to move things -- pull down a few trees to make a shelter and that kind of stuff. The detachable hard or soft top would give me something to sleep under while I organised that side of things. I could also use the engine to make electricity -- not sure how exactly but I am assured that it can be done -- so that would be really useful. Also, I know it would be good for getting around the rugged terrain of the island, and it has a radio for company. 

2. Last taste of civilisation

The island has a plentiful supply of nuts and fruit, not to mention a healthy population of fish, so you will have plenty to eat. But which one food brand are you really going to miss from your old life?
I love my coffee and it would have to be Tesco French Blend coffee beans. And then, unless I'm allowed to have one as a luxury, I would need to invent a coffee grinder. But, I suppose that could be done with a stone and a coconut shell, plus I could always use my T-shirt as a filter. Yes, you can see all the signs of a genuine addiction here can't you?

3. Best reminder of home
Successful survivalists always claim that it is mental attitude which sees them through. Belief that you will get back home is going to be vital -- so which brand will sum up home best?

I would love to have my B&B Italia Sofa along with me. B&B are among the world's best designers of furniture and make stuff that not only looks fantastic but is also very very comfortable. This particular one is a real time-out sofa that I just couldn't live without. I can just picture this on the beach under one of those huge triangular canvas awnings to give me some shade. By the way, if you let me get away with the sail awning I'm well on my way to being able to escape aren't I? All I need is a boat...

4. Most welcome online brand
Eventually you manage to rig up your own connection to the internet using bits and pieces found on the beach but you have only one chance to log on to a website before it goes down -- which online brand will you choose?
It has got to be Epicurious.com. I love eating and cooking -- and I think the site would always come up with something that would make sense of the local food that I'm likely to encounter. It's been around for 10 years now, which is a lifetime for the net, and the secret of its success is that it can suggest something for every occasion from Hannukah to Halloween. I tapped in "islands" this morning and it has already suggested some interesting dishes. I could of course be the "castaway correspondent" for the site and supply them with a whole raft (no pun intended) of recipes. That is once I get to find my way around and see what's available of course. But, I suppose it might turn out very differently though. When I logged on to the site just now there was a pop up window proclaiming the virtues of the South Sea Beach Diet and showing a photo of a homely looking girl called Mindy who had lost 75 lbs! I have a sneaking suspicion that could be me if I can't find anything to eat...

5. Ultimate luxury
Self indulgence is hard to come by on a desert island, so what brand would you be most excited to find washed up on the beach?
I'm good at self indulgence so I'm on home ground with this one. I think it would have to be something like Beluga caviar -- with the mother of pearl spoon of course. Beluga represents only about 10% of the world's total caviar production and it's therefore inordinately expensive. However, these days you can get it from some unlikely places such as Amazon.com where a 2 oz tin will still cost you well over $400. The good thing about this is they deliver. But, do they deliver to my island that's the question!
 
6. Transferable skills
You already work in the jungle of marketing so there are probably skills which you have acquired through your job which will come in handy -- or you may have other hidden talents. Which of your personal skills will help you to get to grips with life on a desert island?
Sitting here at my desk and looking out on a very grey winter afternoon I feel totally prepared to transfer whatever skills I have to a beach somewhere! I suppose that I am good at multi-tasking. Anybody that runs their own company has to be able to do that or they are lost. Plus, I have a sharp instinct that has helped me out on innumerable occasions over the years. I can tell when an idea is good, when somebody is the right person for the job or indeed when something or somebody is just a non-starter. I think overall I'm a very organised person. Working in my profession, which is both very precise and involving big projects, you just have to be. Clients rely on us totally and expect things to be just right. Hopefully, some of these will fit in on my island -- certainly the multi-tasking one will. And, I'll probably be needing that sixth sense too won't I? With all sorts of things ranging from the flora and fauna to the local tribe.
 
Designer and desert island survival expert Adrian Whitefoord comments:
I love the idea of the Jeep. At last someone with some automotive taste. Normally, I give castaways a hard time for choosing a vehicle to take on the island. And that's only fair as there have been some really daft ones including the Ferrari that Bill recalls. But, this is one choice that I won't mock. Bill has gone for good looks but also function and has some good ideas about how he will use the American workhorse to its best advantage. I like the idea of making electricity -- none of the other motorheads ever suggested that. I too think this is achievable, although I agree with him when he says he's not sure how he can do this. So, we would expect to see Bill with lights at the very least, and probably a lot of other electric home comforts thrown in before too long.
 
Now, here's a man after my own heart, who loves his coffee. And I'm pleased too that he has chosen Tesco. As I spend a lot of time designing their packs I feel like he's chosen "my brand". The shell coffee grinder does sound very practical Bill.
 
The beautiful Italian sofa by B&B nestling under a sail awning on the beach, either sounds like a scene from a Merchant Ivory film or a Bounty Bar advert gone wrong. However, I too like relaxing on a comfy sofa and thoroughly approve of Bill's choice here. I have a sofa in my "escape shed" at home which I spend a great deal of time on - even though one of the springs has gone.
 
Epicurious.com is an amazing site and one that I too have visited often before. I think they are a bit short on Island recipes and Bill's contributions would be very welcome I'm sure. He sounds like the sort of chap who knows his way round a kitchen. In fact, I'll bet anything that there's one of those professional looking stripy aprons at home and maybe even one of those cool chef's hats that looks like a mushroom. Still, none of that on the island I'm afraid. Local ingredients are quite rough and ready. Meaning that you will have a rough time getting them ready! I'm afraid that one of the local tribe's cooks is still having rabies shots after attempting to trap the little known 'Scrapper' Monkey which, although a delicacy on the island, is famously difficult to catch.
 
I can remember when amazon.com just sold books! Beluga Caviar does sound wonderful. And I'm sure it tastes fantastic. Though at $200 an ounce I'm not really likely to find out in a hurry. Bad news for Bill here though, the Scrapper Monkeys are rather fond of the Caspian sea delicacy having eaten a whole packing case of the stuff abandoned when a small Islander aircraft (bound for a five-star hotel on an atoll 150 miles away) crash landed on the island in 2002. The monkeys, now being able to tell the difference between caviar and fish paste, would stop at nothing to get their paws on the stuff. So, my advice is just admire the container and don't open it or you'll be under a ton of unpleasant Beluga seeking Scrappers in seconds flat.
 
What cool transferable skills. God I wish I had some of these myself. The multi-tasking one sounds particularly good. My wife claims that she is the only one that can multi-task in our family. Though I am usually only half listening when she tells me, as I'm trying to do a dozen other things at the same time!

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