Desert Island Brands - Douglas Coates and Peter Rope

Douglas: Easy. One of those chalets you get with a Sunsail holiday - air-con, bar-fridge, nice bed... and room service. Oh, and a nippy little boat on the beach.

Peter: Now that's just taking the piss. You might as well go the whole hog and say a Hilton Hotel...  I'm going for something far simpler, and in the spirit of this thing... Grumman Goose flying boat (as featured on the seminal Tales of the Golden Monkey!) Not that I can fly, but if I couldn't work out how to fly it I could just use it like a posh boat.

2. Last taste of civilisation
The island has a plentiful supply of nuts and fruit, not to mention a healthy population of fish, so you will have plenty to eat. But which one food brand are you really going to miss from your old life.

Peter: On the basis that I could ferment some tropical fruits to make alcohol (maybe at the risk of permanent blindness), I would have to go for Village Pizza of Old Kent Road. Fantastic selection of toppings and they're very inventive using top notch ingredients and they'll do a deal on price!

Douglas:  Never been much bothered with food, it's just fuel - but chewing baccy qualifies. Then dry it out, shred it, and fashion a water-cooled pipe from some old gnarled driftwood... Ah, but where's the brand? It's in the brass Zippo I use to set fire to it. Can I have some Ronson lighter fuel too please?

3. Best reminder of home
Successful survivalists always claim that it is mental attitude which sees them through. Belief that you will get back home is going to be vital -- so which brand will sum up home best?

Douglas: A wind-up radio (Mayhem Electronics do one with a built-in torch and I've always had a healthy respect for Mayhem), fixed on Radio 4. See in the dark too? It just gets better and better.
 
Peter:  Sad though it may be, it has to be Sky+, especially since the arrival of THE "+". Absolutely fantastic!  I've always watched way too much TV, but now slightly less crap.

4. Most welcome online brand
Eventually you manage to rig up your own connection to the internet using bits and pieces found on the beach but you have only one chance to log on to a website before it goes down -- which online brand will you choose?

Peter:  At this time of the year it would be the Nationwide Mercury Prize website, not just because it's one of ours (!) but to see the shortlist for the year. It's always controversial and most importantly because there are bound to be a few acts I haven't heard of who'll really be worth a listen. Last year it was Maximo Park and MIA who took up residence on my stereo.

Douglas: I-tunes, with access to my account, so I could load up item 5.

5. Ultimate luxury
Self indulgence is hard to come by on a desert island, so what brand would you be most excited to find washed up on the beach?

Peter:  As my attempts to brew the local fruits into drinkable alcohol are bound to end in disaster, then Virgin Wines. They take all pain out of buying plonk - good quality, good value stuff you can't get in the supermarket, and on a marketing level they send good emails out to tempt weak-willed booze hounds.

Douglas: An I-Pod. It's a classic - it helped re-define the music industry, and I enjoyed watching Apple take the 'Walkman' market from right under Sony's nose. I know there are other mp3 players, and phones that do it all too, but Apple is an outstanding demonstration of what brand equity is all about, and I love a good brand, me.

6. Transferable skills
You already work in the jungle of marketing so there are probably skills which you have acquired through your job which will come in handy -- or you may have other hidden talents. Which of your personal skills will help you to get to grips with life on a desert island?

Peter: Shed building - I just built my first shed from scratch of course, using Douglas to fulfill the role of carpentry consultant. Not so fun during the build with the dodgy English spring weather but very satisfying afterwards. Anyway, I reckon I could fashion a rather stylish and pleasant island dwelling!

Douglas: I like the idea of trying to make something out of almost nothing (after all, we all do it, day in, day out). So, if there was a ball of string, an empty glass bottle (Coca-Cola), a Gerber Legend multi-tool (Leathermans are so last century), a machete and 100 square metres of sail-cloth, I'd be quite cheerful. Twenty-foot racing skiff (based loosely on the Musto) - getsetgo.

Adrian Whitefoord, designer and desert island survival specialist comments: 

Now, I like these guys.  They break with convention.  Ironically, this is the very first time we have been asked if two people can be castaway together and despite the good natured squabbling they are obviously very close and could put up with each other's moods.  Just as well, as they may be about to spend the rest of their naturals with each other arguing the virtues of a flying boat versus an all mod cons holiday chalet. Here we have two people willing to challenge the rules (that's always nice to see) and also a couple of smart thinkers too.  Douglas is going straight for the "let's make the best out of a bad job" solution with the Sunsail option and Peter is choosing the escape route that needs a bit of piloting but would still look good if he can't get the thing to take off! 

So, it appears that Peter is a "Monkeer" as devotees of Tales of The Gold Monkey have become known. Peter you are now geographically in the right place to be a true fan of this show. Set in the Pacific in WW11 TTGM was an early version of Indiana Jones and, like you, I loved every one of the programmes in the short lived TV series.  As you know, the pilot hero Jake Cutter would have no trouble getting off the island (just as well 'cos I can't see him settling down in a Sunsail chalet can you?) and if you have been paying attention to Cutter's capers you too will be only a flight from freedom.    Even more incredible is that the island you are on is not too far from the show's location on Bora Gora (under a thousand miles in fact) so if you make it out you might be able to drop in on Jake and his pals at the "Golden Parrot Bar".

Now, we have an interesting situation, one of these guys is drunk on his own version of local hooch and the other one has a lighter and an unlimited supply of fuel!   But I guess they can enjoy a quick pizza and a pipe before the island (tinder dry) goes up in flames. Seriously though, a Zippo is a cool choice and one that 400 million of us have made since the brand was launched in 1932. Now here's a story that will give you heart, if one of the island's 'fire eating fish' swallows your Zippo all is not lost.  In 1950 a fish was caught in North America that had a Zippo inside - it worked first time! 

The wind up radio is a big hit with me too. Mayhem sounds like a really interesting brand. And Radio 4? Well it just has to be doesn't it? You should particularly enjoy Desert Island Discs considering where you've ended up!  The Nationwide Mercury site sounds good too. In fact I logged on and it's very good indeed. Interesting how this has become the byword for new music just like the Booker prize is for literature and The Turner Prize is for Art - Oh god!  What am I saying? Now I'm going too far - The Turner Prize is more like a builder's merchants showroom nowadays isn't it?

Virgin Wines is an excellent choice and I agree it's a strong brand that delivers. And I also like the sound of the I-pod.  You are right Douglas Apple have done so much with this brand and they came from deep field leaving pioneers Sony looking just a bit daft in my view.

Transferable skills - shed building.  Yes! Yes! Yes!  Anybody that is at all familiar with this column knows how attached I am to my shed, though it's not in quite such an exotic location. Good for you Peter. But take a tip from one who knows, try to locate the shed up a tree - lots of creepy crawlies down below.  And luckily you have your very own Man Friday carpenter whose skills are certainly up to knocking out a quick shelter, after all he's going to build a boat using a ball of string and a coke bottle and that takes a lot of self confidence (with perhaps the odd bottle of the local hooch to oil the creative process?).

Advertising, design and new media agency ArtScience includes Coca Cola, Holsten, Wagamama, MTV, Contiki Holidays and Coldplay among its clients.

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